The Five Love Languages

by Gary Chapman

“At the heart of mankind’s existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another.  Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.”

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a book I think everyone should read – whether you are currently in a relationship or not.  People express and receive love in different ways.  The emotional love language that you speak might be entirely different from the one your spouse speaks.  If you cannot learn to speak each others language then you cannot communicate your love for one another effectively.  By speaking the wrong language to your spouse, your spouse will not realized that you have expressed love at all.

The way people like to express and/or receive love can be broken down into five love languages:

Perhaps your husband needs to hear encouraging words, but you feel cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up.  When he still feels down, you’re puzzled.  Or, maybe your wife craves time with you – time away from the children and television.  The flowers you gave her just don’t communicate that you care.

Now speaking your partners language may not be entirely comfortable for you; however, if it is what makes your partner feel he/or she is loved and cared for, then it is important for us to make the effort to speak their language as much as possible.  When an action doesn’t come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love.

Not only can the love languages be specific to showing love to our significant other or spouse, but it can also be very effective in showing our children that they are loved.  Observe your children, do they thrive on words of affirmation?  Or do you see them sparkle when they get to spend quality one-on-one time with you?  Perhaps they are a child that craves physical touch – such as lots of cuddles, hugs and kisses.  Whatever their language may be, it is our job as parents to learn their language and shout it from the roof top!!  Wouldn’t you hate to find out that your child grew up, not feeling that love and adoration simply because you did not take the time to learn he/or she’s language?  I know I would, I am a committed to making sure that doesn’t happen.

I found this book to be incredibly insightful into how we send and receive love to and from our partner.  And as I pulled this book out to refresh my memory about the five languages, I too have realize that I need to make a continuous, conscious effort to speak my husbands love language and fill up his “love tank” as much as possible.  When you read the book, The Five Love Languages, you’ll learn to speak and understand the unique languages of love and effectively express your love as well as feel truly loved in return.